The COVID-19 pandemic has produced significant stress and anxiety for many families around the world with lower income families more significantly affected during this time. The impact and demands placed on families has been considerable especially for families of children with special needs where boundaries between home and the outside world has become blurred.

Home quickly transitioned into work, school, therapy rooms and in some cases quarantine sites. Home became the one stop shop and parents assumed many more roles while trying to maintain their own work and well-being. The loss of routines which typically provide structure and stability has also led to increased stress and anxiety for many families. They were left to manage unrealistic expectations while lockdown restrictions decreased access to essential support systems such as schools and access to therapeutic services. Parents who attended group therapy at Chris Hani Baragwanath Academic Hospital explained that they were cut off from family support and had to take care of their children with no respite or support. Their other responsibilities did not stop, and they were exhausted at the end of each day.

Mrs Mpho Masoga who receives therapy for her son who was diagnosed with Autism at Chris Hani Baragwanath Academic Hospital described her challenges:

“Our journey with my son was filled with ups and downs, we were coming alright with him at some point, had things under control and he was getting used to a set routine and then COVID happened. We started well the first few days, then he started having more meltdowns, his sleeping pattern also changed for the worst”- Parent of a child with Autism.”

Those of us involved in early child development and education need to ask ourselves if we are adding to the burden experienced by families by adding more to the already long to do list. A mother of a child with severe cerebral palsy asked me a very sobering question after I explained everything that she needed to do at home to help her child eat better, she said “I feed my child three times a day which take over an hour at each mealtime, I have two other children and many household chores- when do you expect me to do more?”

Families should understand that learning and development can come from everyday experiences. We need to empower families with the competence and confidence to stimulate development through their routines and activities. We need to reflect for a moment and realise that families have a finite pool of time, space and finances. As professionals, we often place unrealistic demands on families and potentially hinder their overall wellbeing.

Now more than ever, we need to support families with compassion and understanding. Most struggle  to ensure that their basic needs are met, including food, shelter, clothing, safety, health care and financial support. The impact of COVID-19 has increased the unemployment rate in our country and more families are experiencing food insecurity.

Prior to the pandemic I worked with many families in our Dysphagia clinic which focuses on children with eating and drinking difficulties. It quickly became apparent that parents were compromising on their own meals to ensure that their children had something to eat. We often focus on the child’s weight gain in these sessions, but it was clear that the mothers appeared to be thinner at each appointment. The unemployment and poverty rates before the Covid-19 shows that nearly 60% of children live in households below the Stats SA poverty line (R1,277 per person per month in 2019 Rands) and a third of children (6.4 million) live below the food poverty line of R561. With the loss of income due to lockdown the Social Relief grant by the state will most likely not keep families out of danger.

Families function as a system and our role as a society is to assist in keeping that system whole and functional. The COVID-19 pandemic has placed that system under severe stress at multiple levels dealing with increased demands at home, being at higher risk of poverty, dealing with loss and fear on contracting the virus. We need to display compassion now more than ever, every family has a story to tell about how COVID-19 has changed them, redefined them and in many cases scarred them. Let us be understanding and compassionate in what we expect of them and from them.

Let us build families and not add to their burden, let us make tomorrow possible!